derekderekderekderekderekderekderek

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 22:44:56 GMT

the days just march away with the winter

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 01:49:27 GMT

fuck snow
melt you white bitch

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 05:45:06 GMT

a lot of things wierd. good and bad. everything that happens latley is kind of suprising. over the past only 2 months a lot of shit has happened. some good some bad. some little some big. i'm 17 now. thats cool i guess. i love wii. i wish i could do school on the wii. wiiducation. get a degwii.

interview, to whom it may concern

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 09:02:38 GMT

"hey derek, it's been a while whats the news and what do you think about the future"

"well i've got 2 types of news so lets start with the good. Joe Moody is back into my life (fffffffffnially). We recently formed a gang. I'm playing music with 'obstacle course?'. I'm meeting new people all the time. I finally have an idea of what to do education-wise in life. Winter break is going excellent. i got an ipod, family got a wii. I've been spending time with friends a lot. Ben is back from Wisconson. My birfday is coming up."

"bad news?"

"parents are a hassle. two of my pets died today. my dog lobo was as old as me. i think i'm doing really bad in school. i can't hang out with ronnie anymore. no luck with girls. i hate my job. i hate school. who doesn't. and other reasons i don't feel like discussing"

"futrue?"

"some things are tough but things are looking up. i'm going to start playing indoor soccer in january. I want to start skating again. i was taking piano lessons but i haven't been latley. i want to go to IU. i want to keep playing music. i want to keep meeting people. i want to do something with my life. i'm starting to be more confident in life in general. hopefully that continues. I want to quit smoking cigarettes"

"hungry?"

"yes"

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 02:26:17 GMT

i think... my life is like i'm a dog in a cage and sometimes i shit in it and i just have to sit in there and smell my own shit all the time, and sometimes people walk by and theyre like "man that dog smells like shit, lets kick his ass."

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 02:37:26 GMT

well, i got suspended for five days. that sucks because finals are coming up. any other time i would have been like "oh, thats fine." i got an ipod now. thats cool i guess. i don't have anything exciting to write about. a lot of things are shitty right now. almost everyday i think about the future and how much better off i'll be 3 or 4 years from now. or even like a couple of months. but i've been thinking about that for a long time now. as soon as i got to the point where i had the feeling like i finally had what i wanted and i was content with everything, it dissapeared completley.
"and its like i'm under water or, on an endless escalator. i just go up and up but i dont even reach the top."
and i wanna play some damned music, start a damned band, play a damned show.

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 20:42:22 GMT

november has come

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 04:00:34 GMT

i wanna play some god damned rock and roll.

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 04:55:19 GMT

no no, listen, if jhonny appleseed made an airplane made out of apples then he could travel all around the world spreading the joy of apples to everyone. there would be apples for everything. buildings. cell phones. houses. subway trains. apples. apples. apples. everything. apples. apple coca-cola, apple dr. pepper, appleburger, dietapple, appoline, applevision. apples. but... with todays technology they could surley build an apple spaceship if they could build an apple airplane. so dentist would not have any work to do. because i always heard that an apple a day keeps the dentist away. but i guess theres always rednecks with their apple flavored chewing tobacco. which leads to gingivitas. which should be lead to a dentist.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 01:29:58 GMT

oh yeah, and something about how hotpockets are like sexy women? i'm not sure. like, you can't wait to sink your teeth into it but then its like "ah damn, it hurt me, what a bitch" i'm not sure.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:49:48 GMT

i just realized today i'm almost 17. weird. i guess.
today was good though, hung out with mallie and devinola after school and what not. max and ermas, bussing tables. its cool i suppose. i work all through the weekend now, thats the only bad thing. but money, i like it. i want the money. cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M.
so i think maybe, on the list for band names, one just popped into my head.
'autumn bomb'
maybe. were playing in my basement.
well, i'm going to go shower and try to relieve some of the swelling of my labito. because its growing, oh yes, it is.

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 02:53:36 GMT

i jot a gob folks.

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 14:58:18 GMT

its almost octoba.

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 20:24:01 GMT

nothing nothing nothing to type about. school... fuck school. this weather is pretty. i wanna live in bloomington, that'd be "tight". so they say down there. fuckf uck fuck. head hurts. umm. bye.

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:10:47 GMT

it seems that everyone deleted their livejournal, but i guess i'm just not cool enough to write stuff down. sometimes i just can't sleep and can't get things off my mind. mainly past events involving a girl. and i hate to sound whiney but, i can't stop thinking about a reason, why? why would someone lie like that? what else was she lying about? what didn't she lie about? why did she say she loved me? did she lie about that? does she have a conscious? why am i still thinking about this? maybe it's because i have nothing better to think about. either that or it really is important to me. or atleast it was. whichever it is i wish i could just stop thinking about it. i think about it everyday. but i guess with this i have learned a few lessons. next time i'll be true to my instincts hopefully. hopefully i can learn to do that more often. i learned not to lie because i know what it's like to be lied to. i learned to trust my instincts because all along they were saying "maybe you shouldn't be doing this". i think i added the "maybe" on my own though. turns out they were right. and now i'll be more careful with who i trust.

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 20:05:05 GMT

nothing ever gets better, i want it to but, i'm destined to be a fuck up, always fucking things up.
i think my moms going to drug test me. i don't know though.

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 03:20:03 GMT

i want to walk around the streets of a sleeping town at night, during the fall, with a zip up jacket on, some peach cigarillos, a good friend or two, no destination, no hurry, no worries, no curfew, no cops, gas station coffee, a sidewalk.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 02:59:19 GMT

i think things are starting to look up a little. i hope atleast. i seen katie and ryan and ronnie today. said "whats up". thats about it though. i think my grounding will be up soon.
my nose is full of shit.
so is my head, but its draining a little. clearin up.
i'm gonna go drink some cranberry juice, then call it a night. bye.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 22:19:28 GMT

fuhuhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

a poem to express my teenage angst

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 21:23:56 GMT

polar bear polar bear
big white and furry
living in the cold air
youre in no hurry

you dont have any laws
and a wet black nose
with great big paws
running around in the snows

with black pearly eyes
and fur like winter
your as big as the skys
and youre a real winner!

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 01:29:44 GMT

i will be your accident if you will be my ambulance
and i will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
and i will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance

my friends came by today and graced me with their presence. it was a good break from lonliness. i'm tired of being down in the dumps. it aint no fun boy i tell you what. i go to school i come home i do nothing. i need outta here. i need more of my dads delicous beer. well, everybody have a good day.
all of my love to you, from derek dean mccain.

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 23:11:51 GMT

my life is an insignificant piece of shit. i wish something cool would happen. something good. some kind of change. something positive. i need to find something. something to do or i don't know. to take my mind off of not being able to see my friends not being able to leave. and to help me put up with all this shit. something to make me less of a negative fuck. all i do is bitch and moan but, its all i feel like doing. i need to distort my reality.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 02:06:01 GMT

i'm back. it was ok.

a couple of days before i left, i don't remember exactly when, but i was in such a good mood and i was thinking to myself "wow, i'm in a really good mood, theres no way this is going to last that long" but i stopped thinking about that at the time because who thinks like that when theyre happy? and now that good feeling has ended. and being that happy like that, really happy made being like this twice as bad.
nothing is good right now. it sounds typical but, i wish i was 18. i would move out, i mean if i had a job. if i had money. if i was aloud to. haha.
shits going not so good.

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 04:53:00 GMT

going to yellowstone for a week tomorrow. can't sleep right now. my throats really dry. i wish it would go away. i wish today hadn't happened. maybe when i wake up tomorrow it'll be like groundhogs day, but i won't get stuck like that it'll only be once. well i guess theres only one way to find out. i'm going to bed. i love you all. see you a-holes when i get back. maybe i'll bring all of you something. for each comment you leave you get a souvinier. hooray. bye.
love,
derek dean

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 05:11:19 GMT

emily wose, why the fuck aren't you at my house right at this moment in time.